Easy is the descent
by Booklover291197
Summary: This is set a year after COHF Clary has been held prisoner by Jonathan for the entire year and has been tortured mentally and physically...
1. Him

**Hey guys this is my first fanfiction its a little short, please review and tell me what you think :)**

I lay there head spinning and mind racing, looking up at the cracked celling wondering why this was such a shock. Hadn't I lay in this position so many times before? And yet like the masochist I am, I keep ending up back in the exact same place.

Finally the spinning in my head began to fade. So I sat up awkwardly pushing my tangled red hair out of my eyes impatiently and tried to ignore the spike of pain that was shooting through my ribs as I looked cautiously around. I now knew this place so well it was imprinted onto the inside of my eyelids, with its stark white walls that was now riddled with so many fist marks you could begin to see the brickwork through the plaster.

Pulling myself into a standing position, willing the pain to ease, I walked over to the pane of glass that was supposed to be a dining table and haled myself onto it, trying in the process not to cough up the blood I knew must be filling my lungs. Tears hot and fast began to fill my desolate green eyes, the only part of my abused body which truly showed how broken I was inside.

This place used to be a sanctuary, a place in which Jace and I could escape the real world and all of its judgment. What a joke that was now. Now that it was my own personal brand of hell. There was a time, so long ago now it seemed, that I had believed in pity and mercy. Believed that I would wake up one morning and see a way out. Any way out. But that delusion had gone up in flames, just like the idea that I could ever be the same care free girl I used to be. _He_ had seen to that.

The man I now hated above all. A shiver ran down my spine. How could he have this effect on me even when he wasn't there? How then can I be so terrified that he is going to burst through the invisible door at any moment and torture me once again for the bad thoughts I was having about him? The answer was simple I thought bitterly I was trained ,like a slave to not think for myself but to please him at any cost and to expect the consequences if I didn't.

Unbidden into my mind came the memories from a few hours earlier, as they always did after the minutes of amnesia I now almost always experienced after an especially bad beating…

He was in the oversized bed asleep with the sun pouring in from the only window in the apartment. I watched from the other side of the room like a small child waiting for a monster to rise up and kill. He twitched, as if from a bad dream, and I jumped so hard I knocked a stay ink bottle to the floor and it smashed! He started and sat bolt upright with unnerving grace looking at me in dazed confusion. Slowly, lazily he looked down to see the ink spreading slowly like inchor at my trembling feet. A truly evil smile now began to curve his mouth as the deadly black eyes began to blaze with sadistic pleasure. He then said in a strangely triumphant tone.

"Well well Clarissa what do we say?"

I stare blankly for a moment. Frozen. Slowly my own fire begins to burn through the ice.

"Go burn in hell where you belong!" I spit through clenched teeth, dreading what would inevitably come next.

He paused for only a minute, that stretched on for eons. Then said very slowly and deliberately with a dangerously calm whisper,

"Very well but first I shall teach you what hell is, little sister"


	2. Her

**I know it's been a long time since I've updated but I was waiting for a bit of inspiration, and here it is. This one is from Johnathan's point of view, contains strong violence. Please review x**

It always took an annoyingly long time for her to start to scream properly. I was always about twenty five whip marks in before I even got a sound. But boy when it did it as well worth the wait.

Clarissa was standing in the middle of the dark damp basement her arms chained to the celling, the only thing that was keeping her up. What a sight to see.

Ten marks. Vivid slashes marks her back, so like mine now.

Thirty marks. Now that is where the real screaming started, a shiver of pleasure ran down my spine at the noise. Beautiful.

Fifty marks. I have to stop now for fear she might pass out, and what fun would that be?

Instead I walked around to face her, putting the bloodied whip on the ground. She had her head down and was panting.

"Look at me" I commanded.

She continued to look down.

Irritation took over and I grabbed her chin, none to gently, and forced her to look into my eyes. Her green eyes blazed back at me in silent defiance. Oh how I loved to see her like this, the smell of blood, sweat and fear made me feel so exhilarated.

Suddenly she lifted herself using the chains and used her free legs to kick me directly between the legs. I bellowed as pain blinded me and I dropped to the ground. She used this opportunity to kick me viciously in the head.

I pulled myself up, ignoring the pain, and grabbed her swinging legs and trapped them under one arm. I began to lower the chains feeling irate and satisfied at the same time. Why were my feelings for this girl such a contradiction? I wanted her to submit and to obey but at the same time I never wanted her to lose this fire.

One she was low enough to sit on the cold stone ground, I reached round and grabbed some of the metal wire our father had once used to hold down the angel Ithuriel, and tied it around her jolting legs. She struggled trying to get away as my blood, dripped down on both of us.

When they were secure I stood up slowly and said to her "Now what did you really hope to achieve from that?"

She didn't answer, just continued to struggle.

I sighed exasperated "Well, on your own head be it"

Lifting my foot I placed it on her left leg and began to break each bone, a truly blood curdling scream accompanied each satisfying snap. I switched to her right leg and repeated the same movements with similar results.

By the end she was a sobbing wreck on the floor her hair sticking to her tear drenched face, wristed and legs, were bound, were smoking as they burned, her back was in ribbons, her blood and my own dying her clothes red and her legs were a mangled mess. She was barely able to sob as she was losing her voice from all the delicious screaming.

I bent down, feeling my blood trailing its way down my face, as whispered in her ear "Hell has nothing on me little sister, remember that"


	3. The Curse of Gold

**Hey guys. I was asked in by one of my reviewers about what happened to Jace, which gave me the inspiration to write this chapter. The next chapter will be Clary's memories of how she ended up with Johnathan in the first place. I hope you're not too disappointed with what you find ;) Please review x**

Clary's POV

Clary sat there in a pool of her own blood, her body going numb, slowly dragging her into unconsciousness to try and escape to blinding pain that was overriding every thought and emotion. She had no energy left to cry or to scream. _Let me die _she thought desperately _surely anything is better than this._

Hearing the basement door creek open she was filled with dread, not again surely he was finished. _When will you stop thinking you know anything about him! _a hysterical voice shrieked in her head.

Realising after a moment that the footsteps coming toward her were not Johnathan's, because his did not make a sound and this person made distinct thuds on the stone ground, she pulled her throbbing head up to look. Instantly she wished she hadn't.

Standing there was Jace.

Scowling at her, he kneeled down and pulled her damaged legs out straight. If Clary had thought they had finally gone numb she was wrong, not having enough energy to scream only a small whimper escaped. Jace's scowl intensified.

"Do you want me to help you or not?"

Knowing that he would continue anyway she spat "You'll do it only because _he _told you too" she was amazed that the words had managed to push through her inflamed throat.

He rolled his golden eyes, they were distinctly three shades darker than a year ago.

"Of course, I'll do anything for my master" he said it as if he stating the most simple fact ever to an annoying child.

Clary shivered at the sound of the word _master_ leaving Jace's lips, and felt a ripple of hatred for her brother run through her at the devoted way he said it. It had been a year since she had been forced to watch Johnathan destroy her family and friends but the memory still torn at her, especially seeing Jace forced to dink from the infernal cup.

The boy that had once been so in love with her even enough to die for her, now began to move her tattered clothes out of the way with impatience as he began drawing _iratzes _on her back, wrists and several on her legs. Sighing with relief as the pain began to dull Clary let her senses focus of him. Yes his eyes had changed but so had his hair, it was obviously sunny wherever they were because his hair was pale gold. His stance to had changed, instead of the easy grace he had once had he, now stood as if there was a great weight on his shoulders. She knew it was hopeless to think that he was still in there, everything that he had once been was gone forever. Her Jace would not have let her suffer like this.

He looked up now, finished his work, and walked out without a backwards glance saying over his shoulder "Master will be down in a moment."

Never had words sent so much dread coursing through her veins. It was going to be a very long night.


	4. Long Lost Sun

**Hey guys! It's been a long while since I've updated. Well basically I've been really busy, got my As levels in 2 months, but also I've not really got an outline of where I'm going with this particular fanfiction so my inspiration comes from your reviews, mainly your questions give me ideas for the chapters. So please keep reviewing it really helps :) As promised these are Clary's memories of how she ended up in Johnathan's basement…next chapter should be out by the end of this week ;) **

Clary's POV

_Bern, Switzerland - 6__th__ March 2014 _

Clary knew she really shouldn't have come here. There really was no reason for her to be here. She couldn't even explain to herself why she had felt compelled to come.

Standing in the bright, snow covered cemetery Clary began to shiver, the temperature was defiantly below freezing and she was still dressed in her thin black autumn jacket. She knew she suck out like a sore thumb, with her burning red hair in country full of blondes. None of this served to calm her nerves.

Despite her fear of cemeteries even she could appreciate the picturesque scenery of snow bound head stones, the crunch of the grass under her canvas trainers and the clear bold blue sky that seemed to stretch on for eons. Really this was a beautiful place, she would have to tell Simon about it someday.

After, of course, he got over the fact that she had drawn a portal on his wall and run through it to a practically unknown country (to her at least) whilst he was supposed to be protecting her. These were her mother's rules now whenever she left the house that she had to be accompanied by someone who could protect her. Clary hadn't pointed out to her though that she could probably fight better than Simon, who had only two months of shadowhunter training compared to her ten, because this was a sure way to convince Jocelyn that she should never let her daughter leave the house.

_Wow there are going to be a lot of angry people when she got home, _Clary thought miserably.

She looked down at the smooth cool white marble plaques, lightly dusted with snow, at her feet, they read:

Noah Johnathan Morgenstern

12th February 1942 – 28th February 1979

Christopher Julian Morgenstern

6th September 1944 – 3rd March 1979

Seraphina Svetla Morgenstern (nee Krüger)

17th December 1945 – 12th March 1979

Clary felt a stab of guilt as she read the names, Seraphina was clearly her grandmother, but she didn't know which man was her grandfather or her father's uncle. And even than she only knew this scrap of information from a long ago conversation with her brother.

She sighed, something was bugging her. She couldn't help wondering why they were buried in a mundane cemetery, surely Valentine wouldn't have let _his _family miss out on a shadowhunter funeral or memorial? In fact the only indication that they were anything other than ordinary plaques was a small angelic rune carved beside the names.

The sun was startlingly bright, way too bright because it was reflecting off of the snow. A flash of gold caught her eye and she looked up.

Jace stood there shrouded in sunlight, shining like the angel…but the angel's eyes were wrong.

To shocked to speak Clary opened her mouth but found no words would come out.

A hand clamped itself around her mouth, a pale long fingered hand with a silver ring that cast shards of sunlight like flying daggers. Talking of daggers the one at her neck kissed her throat as she tried to struggle out of her brother's grip.

"JACE!" she screamed causing the blade to make droplets of her blood to appear.

"Hush" Johnathan whispered in her ear "He won't help you now"

She felt drowsiness taking over the fear as the darkness overtook the light.


	5. The Vessel

**OMG I just looked over my last chapters and realised they have been in third person rather than first, as I started with in the first two chapters. I usually write in third and have done it automatically by accident. I think I'll continue in third as it's what I'm more comfortable with. Sorry for the mix up :/ **

**Well this story will reveal some of Johnathan's motives for those of you who have been wondering…and as always please review and feel free to ask questions x**

He didn't know whether the stab of hatred and jealousy that always flared when he caught sight of the boy would ever dull. Or whether it was so engrained into his DNA that it was impossible to change, even if he bothered to try.

He forced his face to remain blank however as the angel boy spoke,

"It is done master, she is healed as you asked. Is there anything else you wish to ask of me?"

Jace's voice was full of submissive adoration, but rather than feeling pleased or gratified as he had expected Johnathan found himself bored and uninterested.

"No, you may leave." he said purposefully keeping his voice aloof.

The boy left presumably to go up to the endarkened quarters in the attic, leaving Johnathan alone in entrance hall. It was a grand room made purely of glass. Walls, ceiling and even the ground, although of course you could only see the brown dirt through it. Night had fallen and the moonlight enhanced the white of his hair, making him stand out like a beacon. The forest surrounding the house would have seen eerie to anyone who didn't recognise it as the Brocelind Forest.

Perhaps it would have seemed mad to anyone else. He was the most hunted person in shadowhunter history, even more than his father which was saying something. But those people had not been brought up by a man who had lived longer in hiding than he did out. That same man had made sure his son lived his entire life in the shadows, never in the sunlight.

_Didn't the same people say it was better to hide in plain sight? _Well that's what he tried to convince himself anyway. It was better than admitting, even to himself, that he just wanted to stand in the light for once in his life.

Sighing Johnathan sat on the edge of the glass windowsill thinking hard. The resurrection was fast approaching and he was not nearly finished enjoying himself with his sister yet. Pouting like a spoiled child at the thought of her being taken from him, he thought back to a night similar to this one about a year ago.

_He sat there feeling distinctly pissed. He began to pace the charred ground. She had done it. Broken the bond between him and Jace. With an angel's sword no less! He felt his blood boiling as he thought of her. Bitch! How was he going to punish her? Get her back?_

"_Johnathan?" a faint voice breathed._

_He spun around to see who had spoken._

"_Mother?" he question excitedly._

"_My son I am over here" Lilith whispered again._

_Johnathan rushed over to where her voice emanated. But there was nothing but a dull light._

"_You will not be able to see me. I am barley more than spirit. I can feel your hatred from here. I can help with that, do you wish to help me also?"_

"_Of course" he said too quickly surprising himself "What is it you need?"_

"_A vessel. Your sisters body could be my vessel. The ritual that accompanies the spell is painful to the human involved. Extremely painful. She would also be locked inside her mind whilst I possess her. Is this punishment enough for you, my child?"_

"_Yes, this idea…it's…it's…supreme. What will I need to do?"_

"_On the night of a full moon bring the girl and the ingredients to this spot. The ingredients are: the blood of a normal shadowhunter, the blood of a shadowhunter turned not born, the life force of a warlock and the blood of the vessel's original bearer." _

_He gave a truly evil grin. Perfect. _

Johnathan concluded that he may have spent longer than necessary getting the ingredients. But he had enjoyed his time with Clary.

He looked up as a star shot across the sky passing and nearly whole moon...

* * *

**Ok, I understand the ingredients might not be to clear so;**

**The blood of a normal shadowhunter (Pretty straight forward) **

**The blood of a shadowhunter turned not born (Someone who drank from the mortal cup) **

**The life force of a warlock (Again pretty straight forward) **

**The blood of the vessel's original bearer (The vessel being Clary and her original bearer being Jocelyn) **


	6. The Resurrection

**So now you know the plan but to you know the outcome…?**

**I'm feeling more and more evil each chapter, but you seem you seem to be enjoying it :) I've got my plans for chapters 7 and 8 now, but keep your reviews/questions coming in it really helps ;)**

The sun light was dull and fragmented as it peered through the dense canopy of trees in the Brocelind Forest. The trees themselves were centuries old. They were gnarled over with age, but the branches were thick and bursting with star shaped leafs. These same leafs were scattered over the damp ground. Mist was swirling around like the smoke of a really bad horror movie. But the creatures rustling around out of sight were far from fake.

In a clearing, barely the size of a small cottage, is where they sat. Clary still dressed in her ripped jeans from the previous night, her once cream t-shirt in ribbons and her feet bare. Blood, both dry and fresh, her own and not, covered almost every inch of her. Yet every visible inch of skin was smooth and clear. Not a bruise or cut to be seen. Johnathan had made sure she was in good condition for Lilith.

The boy in question sat opposite his sister the dull light turning his already black eyes into the sockets of a skeleton, placed on top of his sharp cheek bones. He was dressed in his customary gear but a single dagger, bright and shining, stood out seeming more dangerous in its solitude.

He was wearing his normal mask of calm uninterest, looking up to the small patch of visible blue sky, whilst she glared forcibly enough that if looks could kill he would have died a million times over in terrible agony. Lowering his gaze he met her blazing green eyes and sighed. Lowering his gaze still further he caught sight of the angel metal chains that bound her to the large tree directly behind her.

"Thing between us could have been so different if you hadn't betrayed me." He stated, then as if the question had been forced from him without his permission, he heard himself ask "Why? Why did you do it, Clary?"

Rolling her eyes she answered exasperatedly "Did you really expect me not to? Of course I was going to try and get back!"

She was, after all, very proud of the fact that she hadn't even showed the slightest signs of Stockholm syndrome. _Yet anyway _she grimaced.

"What if you had nothing to go back to?" he said very quietly, almost as if he didn't want her to hear.

After a pause, in which neither of them spoke, she wasn't even sure she had heard the words after all.

The mist began to gravitate to one spot directly beside Clary and she began to shake.

"What's going on, Johnathan?" she hoped the sound of his name would incite enough sympathy from him so that he would at least tell her what was going to happen.

His eyebrows drew together, but he did not answer. As the smoke began to take on form of a women his expression became blank again and he went to retrieve something from cover of the brushes.

When her brother returned he was holding a large ornately carved box. From within the ebony box he lifted four teardrop shaped vials, which contained what looked suspiciously like blood.

Panicking now Clary began to pull ferociously at the chains. They burned and smoked, if she kept it up she would surely see bone soon.

An eerily familiar voice emanated from the smoke beside her saying words she couldn't understand.

_Lilith! _

Johnathan walked over to her and pulled the dagger from his waist and very deliberately sliced her arm from elbow to palm. Putting the dagger he opened the first vial and poured it over her wound before rubbing it in.

Clary was to in shock to scream. The gears in her head were whirling, she didn't know what he was doing but nothing good came from a blood ritual. She had to make him stop. She couldn't do that physically he was too strong and fast. Mentally? Threatening wouldn't work, if anything he seemed to enjoy that. Mercy? No, he would only laugh and probably hurt her more. Love! This _always _threw him of balance, anything was worth a try.

He had opened the second and third vial and proceeding to open the forth.

"Please don't do this, brother. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have separated you and Jace. I should have been grateful to have both of you. Let me prove it to you." Her voice sounded desperate and fake even to her own ears.

Johnathan raised a perfectly sculpted white to let her know he knew she was talking bullshit, but he had paused in his actions so that was something. He gave her a long hard look.

"She is a liar, get on with it my son. Then you will have your revenge!"

They sat staring at each other as if in a trance, very slowly he lifted the vial and she cringed backwards. But instead of pouring it over her arm he lifted it to his own lips and swallowed the liquid inside it in one gulp.

"No!" Lilith screeched loudly as she began to fade away.

Johnathan looked up at his sister as he grabbed the chains around her arms and pulled. They fell away but Clary still sat stunned looking at her brother eyes. They were still undoubtedly black, but they had an edge of green to them.

"Run, she is gone but only whilst her anchor to this world is blocked. Once the blood I swallowed has stopped overriding hers she will be back. Run Clary!" his voice was laboured and once he had finished he began to cough as his body rejected whatever blood he had just put in his system.

Standing up unsteadily Clary ran through the wood in the direction she hoped Alicante was. She only made it a few yards before she fell hard to the ground. Her torn up arms protested at the impact. She was still on all fours when she began to sob.

_Don't do it _her body begged as unconsciously her mind made the unthinkable decision.

_I have to go back._

She could not even justify the decision to herself, all she knew was that he had saved her, from himself she knew, but still.

Walking slowly, because her body was trying to go on strike in disgust at her choice, she eventually got back to the clearing.

_No sign of Lilith. _

Johnathan lay unmoving in the middle of the clearing covered in the black _inchor_ like blood he had been chocking on. Stooping to check he still had a pulse, Clary grabbed his arms and began to drag his body back toward the house.

After, what seemed infinity, they were in the glass entrance hall. A crumpled piece of paper lay next to the door. Even though Clary knew she should have learned long ago not to be curious she limped over to pick it up.

What she thought had been paper, was more like leathery skin. The words on it were ones that she recognised, familiar even, but then why wouldn't her brain make sense of them? Her brother stirred and moaned dreadfully.

Finally the words connected with the understanding of what they must mean. She dropped to the ground as the feeling in her legs vanished and white noise engulfed her ears and Johnathan's words from earlier made sense…

_What if you had nothing to go back to?_


	7. The Ingredients

**I hope you enjoyed the last chapter, I don't normally write that much in that chapter but I got a bit carried away :) **

**Also I've made it so that Jocelyn changes her last name to Luke's mundane name when they get married, because I don't really think the Clave would let him have his shadowhunter name back :/ **

**And a random bit of information, because reading other fanfictions I have seen that people make play lists for their stories, I have basically been listening to the Imagine Dragons album 'Smoke and Mirrors' but for this particular chapter it was Imagine Dragons – Dream. **

_The Ingredients _

_The blood of a normal shadowhunter – Isabelle Lightwood (Obtained)_

_The life force of a warlock – Magnus Bane (Obtained)_

_The blood of the vessels original bearer – Jocelyn Garroway (Obtained)_

_The blood of a shadowhunter turned not born – Simon Lewis (Obtained)_

The words, in her brother's handwriting, were burned permanently onto the inside of her eyelids.

_What did this mean? Were they captured? Tortured? Endarkened? Dead?_

She couldn't let that last possibility take shape in her mind. The thought of her brother's face being the last thing her mother had seen made Clary feel physically sick.

_No! No they can't be dead!_

Denial was, at this point, was a blessing, wasn't it? There was only so much one person could take. But of course even if he hadn't _needed _to kill them he would have. The girl who had chopped of his hand, the boy who had gotten her Michael's sword, the warlock who had hidden her for so long and their mother. The women that he hated above all.

Of course they were dead.

Johnathan stirred again. Clary felt her momentary lapse of sympathy evaporate. Heat coursed through her veins waking up a hatred so strong she began to shake. She got up, ignoring the pain in her knees, and walked slowly over to his motionless body. She had no weapon, but right then she didn't care she was ready to kill this monster with her own hands. As she reach for him, his eyes flew open and shock paralysed her movements.

Johnathan's eyes were bright uncompromising gold.

His breathing was short and fast with panic, not from her outstretched hands, but from the feeling of his heart beating faster than it ever had in his life and it showed no signs of slowing. The black blood, his own blood, began to burn his exposed skin.

_What the hell? _Was all his scrambled thoughts kept repeating.

Finding her tongue again Clary found herself choking out the words "Whose blood did you swallow?"

He blinked up at her for a few minutes before whispering "The last one."

She scrambled over to grab the paper and looked down the list feverishly.

_Simon's?_

Walking back over to what was still, she guessed, her brother. Clary kneeled carefully, so as not to upset her damaged knee caps.

Suddenly siting up with surprising speed, considering he had been immobile for so long, they were nose to nose. Gold eyes blazing into green.

"She's gone." he said relief colouring his tone.

"Who is?" she whispered back unnerved at his closeness.

"_Lilith_" he breathed, a breath-taking grin overtaking his features.

Clary's eyebrows drew together in confusion as she drew away slightly.

_What?_

"But thought you said that she was only gone whilst her anchor to this world was blocked?"

_Not that, that had made any sense either!_

The confused way she said the last words must have made him realise she had no idea what he had been talking about.

Johnathan cocked his head to the side and said simply "The anchor is gone."

Then without another word he stood up and walked away through the door. Left sting there for a moment with her mouth open, Clary shook her head.

_Run! _Every follicle of her body was screaming, but an even louder voice was telling her that she _had _to know what was going on.

Sighing at her own stupidity, to make the same mistake twice in the space of a day, she paused only to apply a few _iratzes _to her wounded arms and knees, before heading through the door back to the house, which for her at least, was worse than hell.


	8. The Lullaby

**Well I don't think that Johnathan's change was too predictable, do you? The previous chapter and this one were originally one, but I thought it would be to long…also I really like to write cliff-hangers ;)**

**Please excuse my German, I don't actually speak it and I've used google translate so sorry if there are any mistakes.**

**As always please review x**

Walking through the long winding corridors, Clary was completely lost. She had only been through the house when she was either unconscious, drugged, badly beaten or blindfolded.

_There, right there are four really good reasons to leave and not search for this psycho!_

The more rational part of her brain was yelling.

"Well there is nothing I can do now I'm lost!"

She yelled back. Talking to yourself is never a good sign.

Out of what looked like a solid wall his head popped out looking confused.

She screeched and he rolled his newly golden eyes.

"Shhhh"

An arm appeared close to the disembodied head and pulled her through the wall.

They were in a room, which was clearly his bedroom, it was all white, silver and black, the walls, the floor, the bed even the ceiling.

Johnathan himself was sitting in the middle of the room cross-legged dressed in jeans and nothing else. There were burns all over his torso, arms and neck. His white hair as over long so that it fell into his eyes. Focusing on his unusual eyes Clary realised that he was staring at her, wide eyed with childishness wonderment.

He held out his hand and it took a minute for her to understand that the object in it was his _stele_. She reached down and took it slowly, as if she thought he would lung for her at any minute.

"Denn ihr Liebling Schwester" he said imploringly.

"What?"

_He knows I don't speak German, right?_

Looking back down at the _stele _in her hand she asked "Why?"

"Ich sehe mich nicht mehr vertrauen. Sie tun?" the last words were distorted as he began to cough again.

When she didn't move or answer he lowered his eyes to the black carpet and began to rock backward and forward singing quietly,

"_Guten Abend, gute Nacht, Von Englein bewacht,__  
__Die zeigen im Traum, dir Christkindleins Baum,__  
__Schlaf nun selig und suess, Schau im Traum's Paradies,__  
__Schlaf nun selig und suess, Schau im Traum's Paradies._"

She didn't understand a word he was saying but the melody, which he sang made Clary feel sleepy. Shaking her head, trying to snap herself out it, she looked around trying to find the door that they had come through but was confronted with a blank white wall.

"The doors got and invisibility rune on it" he said snapping back to English, before dissolving into a loud coughing fit.

_Something is wrong. Really wrong. More than normal._

Clary caught the blood on his palm before he closed his fingers around it.

"But it's still there? The door I mean" she said it just to make sure he was defiantly back to English more than anything else.

"Yes" he said catching his breath again.

"So…what's with the golden eyes?" she said feeling the need to question and run as soon as possible.

His eyes grew wider, if that was even possible. Then he was standing, there must have been some movement between sitting and standing but he had moving too quickly for her to see.

"Their what?!" he said sounding disgusted.

"Gold" she said in a small voice.

His lip curled. Before she could stop him he had grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart.

_No one's heart beats like Jace's _she remembered thinking a million lifetimes again.

Clary pulled her hand back as if it had been burned.

_Now someone else's did…but wait, did that mean…_

Johnathan doubled over again, and she could practically hear the blood making its way from his lungs. Taking the opportunity to run she went through the wall and back through the maze of halls.

Stopping at the nearest blank walls, she pressed her brother's _stele _to the red expanse of wallpaper and drew.

_Portal. Portal. Portal. _She thought over and over again.

The portal appeared, and for the first time in over a year she felt the emotion that had long eluded her, hope. 

**Here are the translations in order: (The song is a German lullaby)**

For you my darling sister.

I don't trust myself anymore. Do you?

Lullaby and goodnight, thy mother's delight  
Bright angels beside my darling abide  
They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my breast

They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my breast


	9. The Cup

**Wow the support for this story has been amazing, thank you so much! I'm going to try and get this story finished before next Wednesday, because I go on holiday then so enjoy the fast updating whilst you can :)**

The boy sat looking at the four grave plaques, the last name still hurt to look at and the stab of misery made his blue eyes glisten with unshed tears;

Luke Garroway

16th January 1970 - 3rd March 2009

Jocelyn Garroway

5th July 1970 - 3rd March 2009

Simon Lewis

27th February 1991 - 10th March 2009

Isabelle Sophia Lightwood

21st June 1992 - 10th March 2009

"There was nothing you could have done." Magnus said soothingly, as he put a comforting arm around Alec.

"There is always something. Always." His voice was steady but his frame was quivering.

He looked up into his boyfriends sympathetic brown eyes, it had taken Alec a long time to get used to them but the slit pupils were a sign of magic and Magnus no longer had his magic. That diabolical demon freak had seen to that.

He began to shake again but this time it was with barely supressed rage.

"I should be getting back I'm on guard duty in a couple of minutes." He told Magnus trying to stop the shaking.

"Ok." He said simply understanding the boys need for solitude.

It had become the priority of the Clave to close ranks and protect its own after Johnathan had proven how weak there defences were. He had taken Jace first, no one knew where but Alec suspected he was endarkened, the constant terrible pulse of his _parabatai _rune told him that. Then Clary, whose body still hadn't been found. Jocelyn had been targeted next, it was said Luke had died trying to save her. And then Simon and Izzy, there were no words for that loss. At first it was seen as a normal, if that word even applied, killing spree, but when he had taken Magnus' life force rather his actual life it was believed that Johnathan was going to perform a spell.

The final blow had never come but they were still on high alert. To appear as if it were doing something the Clave had a shadowhunter guarding the Mortal Instruments at all times. It just happened to be that Alec's turn was now.

As he came face to face with current guard, the older man averted his eyes and waited

"My name is Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I'm here to guard the Mortal Instruments in the name of the Clave against Johnathan Christopher Morgenstern and his endarkened." His voice had a repetitive, dull quality to it, as if he'd been reciting the same words since birth.

The old guard nodded and muttered his condolences. Alec barely acknowledged this, he was all too used to false condolences.

The warded room was sparse. It had only one small metal table in the middle of the room, barely straining under the sword and the cup. Taking his spot in front of the table and stone steps, he settled into the familiar routine of telling himself not to think, to clear his mind completely. It never worked.

_Just find something to focus on _he thought repeating the familiar mantra _Wait where is that blue light coming from?_

The light imploded as it began a full blow portal.

_What the…? This place is warded! _

There was a sudden whirl of red hair and Alec felt himself fly back into the steps, the girl landing on top of him.

"CLARY?!" he heard himself yell.

"ALEC!" she shrieked back flinging her arms around him.

Clary was not exactly his favourite person in the world but right now he couldn't care less.

"Where did you come from?!"

She pushed herself away from him to stand up and for the first time he caught a look of what she currently looked like. She was covered in blood, more blood than could be her own, some of it was black from age and some other was fresh black. She was thin, thinner than normal, as if she had been starved for long periods of time. But she was alive, even if she did look slightly crazy right now, so wasn't there a possibility she knew where Jace was?

"Jace?" he asked in a fragile voice.

Clary smiled weakly, but it didn't touch her eyes.

Walking past him she grabbed the cup and walked back toward the portal with purpose. Before Alec could open his mouth in protest she turned back to face him.

"I'll be back, I swear it on the angel Alec. Stay here I'll return the cup and hopefully something else to."

And before he could ask what she meant she was gone and so was the portal. The only thing to testify that she had been real and not a figment of his desperate imagination was the missing cup.

"I'm a really bad guard." he said to his knees "I'll just wait here then."


	10. Too Late

**Hey, I'm back! Sorry I didn't manage to get this up before I left for Switzerland, which is a very beautiful country by the way, but hopefully it was worth the wait.**

**As you've probably figured out by now I can be quite evil when I write but I tried to keep this chapter a little tamer than was first planned.**

**Hope you've enjoyed the journey, I know I enjoyed developing this from quick 1000 word story for coursework into the story it has become with help of course from my wonderful reviewers you definitely kept me going thank you! ;)**

Landing hard on the black velvet carpet, Clary felt the skin on her knees break again. But it didn't matter. Not now. Not with what she had brought back with her.

The golden cup had hit it the ground just as hard as she had, as a result it flew across the room and landed at _his_ feet.

Johnathan looked down first at her, still on her hands and knees, then to the cup that had knocked lightly at his feet. Clary noted that he had finally put a shirt on, but more disturbingly that the white cotton was covered in black _inchor _and even more blood_._

He looked back at her his golden eyes looked troubled and still a bit out of it.

"Nice cup, I think I have one just like it" his tone wasn't playful, although the words must be, hadn't they?

Clary swallowed before standing up slowly and approaching him like she would a watching dangerous predator that would strike at any moment.

Before she even got a few steps however, he ducked grabbed the cup and held it out to her

"Do what you must" the words were cut of short by yet another coughing fit, it was easy to see now were the _inchor _had come from as it poured out of his mouth. Unbidden worry filled her mind, she opened her mouth to frame a question but no word came out.

He looked up gasping "Now Clary, take it, I will not offer again, understand?"

Yes she did understand, snatching the cup she turned to run from the room.

* * *

Johnathan fell to his knees retching as another spasm wracked his frame as the door slammed shut.

_Where is all of this blood coming from?_

_You know where its coming from do you need a list?_

_Shut up_

_Lungs, gut, you know major organs…_

_Shut up! _

_And then you will be like him! An angel boy…_

_SHUT UP!_

The internal argument had been going on inside his head ever since he had come back from the resurrection,

Over and over again.

Always the same voice,

Over and over again.

That voice sounded like _her_,

Over and over again.

Lilith's voice.

_You'll be an angel like your sister at last and she will still like him over you…_

_Maybe, _

_There is NO maybe you will still be a monster but remorse will kill you if I don't…_

The evil voice laughed as Johnathan put his blacked hands on his head and began to scream…

* * *

Clary ran into Jace, literally collided, a lot sooner than she had anticipated because she had never been to the endarkened quarters before. When she disentangled herself from him she saw that he too was covered in blood.

"Where did that come from?" she asked before thinking.

He scowled, an almost permanent expression he wore these days when he looked at her, but answered mechanically "Gone. All the endarkened are gone, as Master ordered"

It took a second for her to realise what he meant.

"What? Why? Why did he leave you?"

"This is not my place to ask" he said sounding highly offended.

Looking down at the cup she had an idea.

"Master sent me to get you." she said doing her best impression of his voice "He says you mist drink from this."

Jace eyed her suspiciously "This is the mortal cup, why would Master want me to drink from this?"

"That is not your place to ask" she said sternly mimicking his earlier words.

This must have seemed logical to his endarkened mind because without further questioning he took the cup from her and drank deeply.

The effect was instant, he flung the cup and began to cough.

Clary stood hoping against hope that it would work.

Once the coughing had stopped he looked up at her, with his now restored golden eyes, a look of pure devastation on his face.

From behind Clary caught sight of the portal she had drawn open earlier reopening.

"Clary…" Jace choked out but she gathered every bit of strength she had and pushed him back through the portal.

* * *

He was still lying in a foetal position when he heard her come in, small footsteps still too loud from lack of shadowhunter training.

"Johnathan?" she said in a quiet voice. Too quiet.

"Do it" he murmured.

"Do what?" she asked innocently. Too innocently.

Suddenly he was up, towering over her eyes wild holding her hand. The hand that held a short dagger.

"Do. It."

She looked shocked as if she expected him to be playing a trick on her.

He through her arm away from him and stalked away.

"Why!? Why to do hesitate!? How many people do I have to kill for you to DO IT!?"

She still didn't move, only whispered "You didn't kill him, why?"

_Jace? It always comes back to Jace! But…why didn't I kill him?_

_Because you are a coward! _His father's voice yelled.

He winced.

Dropping to the ground he lay flat arms and legs straight. He saw her bend over him, dagger still in hand.

"Really? You really want to die?" disbelief was clear in her voice.

"Clarissa, I would rather die than become like you" he said calmly hoping his spite would push her to act.

She didn't look surprised, merely sighing "Me too"

He watched as his sister lifted the dagger and placed it over his heart.

"Any last word before you go to hell?"

He grinned looking more like his old self than ever "Hölle hat nichts auf mir die kleine Schwester, denken Sie daran, dass."

Johnathan watched as she blinked her bright green eyes once before the world fell away once more.

* * *

Clary stepped out of the portal, still covered in her brother's blood, and saw that three people were waiting for her in the unfamiliar room.

Jace and Alec stood hugging so tightly it looked painful. She felt arms wrapping themselves around her, and saw that they were Magnus'.

Leaning into his embrace she thought of how many things she would have to explain, all the things she had lost and everything she would have to face.

But right now none of that mattered, because all that mattered was that it was over.

Finally over.

**German Translation (Recognise the line from chapter 2?) = "Hell has nothing on me little sister, remember that."**


	11. Note

**So a lot of you wanted me to continue this story and truthfully I didn't think I was going to.**

**But after a break, if you would call an exam season a break, I had some inspiration (though why the inspiration had to hit at 3 am in the morning, whilst I was trying to sleep, I will never know).**

**So as I said I am going to continue but I will post it separately under the title 'All the Stories are True' if you are interested the first chapter will go up today :) **


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